My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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