Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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