Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
