I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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