I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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