That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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