I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
...so i touched it.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
