My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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