so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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