So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
