I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Randomize
