So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
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