She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize