How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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