Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
