Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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