I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Randomize
