Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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