dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
