Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
