Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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