I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
