I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i drank out of a bidet.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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