Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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