What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
