good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize