Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Panties = found
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
