Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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