And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
