i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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