Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
