I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
