Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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