I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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