My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Randomize
