Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We just shotgunned beers for America
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
