I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
