Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize