So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
