he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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