yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize