I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
