I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
