i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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