You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
