We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
