so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
