woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
being pregnant is like rehab
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
