next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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