I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
