His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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