You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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