Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
