god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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