Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
