trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
