He uses pillows to masturbate.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
