she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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