So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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