They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
