Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(002): View more from

508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased

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(417): View more from Missouri

Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?

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(469): View more from Texas

I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??

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