I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize