im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
