i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
