i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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