This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
