arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
