oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just found a bag of teeth...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize