My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
