so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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