i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
